Nobody Really Likes Salad: Part 1


Let me preface this: I would much rather be eating a Little Caesar’s pizza while catching up on the Daily Show on my couch. If you also use the sound of Trevor Noah’s voice as an adult lullaby while falling asleep on your couch smelling like pepperoni and regret, you’re in the right place.

I won’t write about ~the journey~. I’m a Point A to Point B kind of gal. You’re not here for some Eat, Pray, Love kind of thing. I won’t tell you to buy anything I couldn’t afford. I’m a person who goes straight to the clearance aisle in any clothing store. Most of my workout clothes are $8 shorts from Target and a teeshirt older than at least one Kardashian. I rock my Woodbine Tigers Wrestling teeshirt at the gym without apology or regard for fashion.

I’m working towards losing 25 lbs in five months. Let’s just say I got a shock on Monday at a doctor’s appointment. I stepped on the scale and was 5 lbs heavier than I thought– not overweight, but a little too close for comfort. My main goal is to feel better about my choices and have my clothes fit better. One of my motivations is to donate most of my clothes before moving to Kansas City later this spring. New chapter, new wardrobe. I’ll work hard in the gym to be a little lazier on moving day.

I’ll be sharing a few of my successes, failure and finds every week. I’m mostly cutting back on processed food with a focus on portion control. I’m trying to be more consistent about working out. So here we go, the first few findings I’ve found this week:

Mission Carb Balance Tortillas:

Keeping carbohydrates and sugar at bay works for my body. I’ve gone overboard by cutting them out altogether, so I’m being reasonable. These make nice lunch wraps, coming in at 6g of carbohydrates per serving. They taste like regular tortillas not like other low carb wraps that taste like an Amazon box.

Price: ~$4 for 8 tortillas.
Rating: 5 / 5 – delicious, cheap, lower carb alternative to bread.

Advocare Spark:

I’m normally against anything from an MLM because I’m tired of Facebook friends trying to sell things. (I’ll go to Sephora or Target, thank you very much.) My boss handed me a trial of the Advocare Spark on Friday because I mentioned my pop withdrawals. I filled up my 32 oz Tervis mug, then added 3 scoops of Spark.

If you’ve ever tried Spark you know what happened. I felt great for about a half hour. I suddenly got a jolt of caffeine that made me feel like I was traveling through space and time. Pro tip: one scoop. One. Just one. Uno. Ein. Oдин. That’s it.

Spark is a great pick me up in reasonable amounts, but it’s really expensive. I’m not sure if it’s worth it, so I’m researching alternatives like Zipfizz.

Price: $52 for 42 servings
Rating: 3 / 5 – tasted good and effective. It’s expensive and too much makes you feel like you got food poisoning in Tijuana.